When moving away to college, the idea of living with strangers can be distressing. Roommate concerns are real and normal. Living with non-family members for an extended period of time can be a challenging change as personalities clash and roommates discover who they want to become.
Every roommate and group of roommates will be different and each will provide a new college experience. Living with roommates will present many learning opportunities whether it be about each other, yourselves, or how to handle conflicts.
Leeyen Roger, from Society 19 shares some advice on getting along with college roommates, "People are unique and different, and your roommate will most likely not have the same living, studying, sleeping, and social habits and that's okay." +SOCIETY19
At the end of April, I will have lived with my third set of roommates during my college years. Through these last three years, I have learned a lot about myself and I'm still learning on how to be a better roommate. With the help of other college bloggers and personal experiences, I have collected a few tips on surviving college roommates.
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| Roommates 2014-2015 |
Communicate
Communication starts as soon the roommate information emails are sent and should be moderately maintained after your 'roommate' time period. Effective communication with roommates is crucial for having an enjoyable experience and relieving tensions that arise. It is important to note that communication won't always be clear and won't fix everything instantly; it takes constant effort.
Samantha from As Life Grows recommends, "Make sure you keep communication going once you guys move are living together...and talk to them freely." In the past, my roommates and I would communicate on what we would be bring and willing to share for that year and stayed in contact through Facebook and texting. While my current roommates and I didn't exchange summer emails and will most likely stay contact through Snapchat and Instagram.
Alone Time
Alone time is crucial for maintaining a sense of sanity while in college. This time can be spent in various ways: reading, exercising, napping, or talking on the phone. Allowing alone time with benefit yourself and your emotions, as well as your roommates, and then the time spent together will be enjoyed more.
Dorothy from Prep In Your Step shares, "In college you are surrounded by people nearly all the time so a little alone time...is nice!" In the past when I shared a room, I would spend my alone time exercising or in my car talking to my family and friends and it did help clear my mind and be more positive around others.
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| Roommates 2013-2014 |
Bond Together
Living with people in close quarters for an extended period will most likely lead to conversations, meals together, and to actually bonding with each other. Spending time together is an obvious answer but it is remarkable how much that can influence the overall experience of that year. When spending time to bond together, it can help improve other parts of the relationship.
Dorothy from Prep In Your Step recommends, "Just by offering you are allowing your roommate to see that you want to get along and you are finding ways to grow closer." In the past, my roommates and I would spend time together by baking treats and throwing water balloons at people. Currently, my roommates and I spend our time together by eating food and having movie nights.
Set Boundaries Early
Most apartments in college, the rooms are shared and the general living area is tiny; which in turns leaves roommates in very close quarters. Without open communication and already set boundaries tensions and conflicts can form very easily. Setting boundaries will create open communication on what should or shouldn't be happening and can create a sense of safety for all roommates involved.
Alisha Krywiak from Society 19 shares, "When setting your boundaries with the other person be very clear about your expectations." In the past, my roommates and I weren't good on setting boundaries on boyfriends and when the conflict rose, it was very challenging so I made sure to set that boundary the following year.
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| Roommates 2015-2016 |
Be Mindful
As mentioned above, college apartments tend to lack in space so it is a crucial component to be mindful of the affects of actions or behaviors. When listening to music or watching a movie, opt for headphones for the studying roommate. When having friends over, opt for a warning text or message to inform roommates. Being mindful of actions and their affects can play a big part in the overall roommate experience.
Jessica Pawlarczk from College Candy and Alisha Krywiak from Society 19 recommend, "To make an effort to think about your actions affect others." In the past, my room roommate and I were very mindful in what time we went to bed and woke up, which in turned helped each other sleep despite the different habits. Currently, my roommates are great at being mindful of their actions after midnight because I'm going to bed before them.
Just Friends
Unfortunately, not every roommate relationship will follow the movies and stories of being best friends and forever involved in each other lives. Sometimes roommates don't get along and that's okay. Being civil and respectful is crucial to keep a positive, safe environment throughout the apartment.
Megan from Love Megan June and Erin from Very Erin recommend, "Don't force a friendship that isn't going to happen." In the past, I have had some roommates that I was closer to than others and had a distinct roommate that was very difficult to gain a friendship with but I still treated her with respect and always attempted some sort of conversation.
Quirks
Everyone has their own quirks, including you. Everyone has been raised different, experienced different things, and have their own opinions and outlooks on life. These difference are what makes each of us are own individual and may cause tensions or conflicts. When conflicts arise, it is important to remember that if someone's quirks are bothering you, your quirks might be bothering them too. Take a step back, breathe, communicate, and focus on the positive.
For more tips and advice on college roommates, check out my Pinterest.
